As I'm starting to type this post, I'm typing one handed while laying on the very edge of the bed trying to avoid any sudden movement, halfway humming a song I don't even like but it's the only one coming to mind for some reason and I'm longingly looking at my now empty ice cream cup wishing for more.
Why am I in this predicament? My 3 month old daughter almost refuses to be put to sleep at night without being nursed and even after, if you aren't right up against her for awhile, she will wake right up. I'm sure mine isn't the only one. So as I was laying here, again on the very edge of the bed because she is sprawled out in the middle, (she's a very big 3 month old) I'm thinking of all the things I should be doing. We leave for a weekend trip out of town tomorrow and I'm still not completely packed, there are dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be washed, dried, folded (I never hardly put them away though), my bathroom DESPERATELY needs to be cleaned... and the list goes on and on to the point I have a headache.
Why am I in this predicament? My 3 month old daughter almost refuses to be put to sleep at night without being nursed and even after, if you aren't right up against her for awhile, she will wake right up. I'm sure mine isn't the only one. So as I was laying here, again on the very edge of the bed because she is sprawled out in the middle, (she's a very big 3 month old) I'm thinking of all the things I should be doing. We leave for a weekend trip out of town tomorrow and I'm still not completely packed, there are dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be washed, dried, folded (I never hardly put them away though), my bathroom DESPERATELY needs to be cleaned... and the list goes on and on to the point I have a headache.
Then I stop and look down just as my daughter sighs in her sleep, letting me know she is just about completely in La-La Land, passes very loud gas and she smiles. :) As I lay here chuckling it's things like that sweet sweet smile that remind me of these little moments that are the most important. Yes, I will always have things to do and yes I could be doing some right now, but she will only be this size and be like this once. She won't remember these moments, but as long as I'm here to catch them, I will. I guess that's the part that is important. Making ourselves available to our children while they want us and need us. When I think about the fact she wants ME to be there with her, to soothe her to sleep, to feel my presence... it makes me feel so warm and tingly. I almost want to do a happy dance but again won't because of the no sudden movement thing.
Nursing her to sleep has by far been one of the hugest bonding factors for me and her. It's those couple of minutes when she is drifting toward sleep. She looks at me and slowly starts to take longer to open her eye lids when she blinks. When she coos up at me trying to fight going to sleep. These are moments that I will never get back if I miss them. Yes I hear my husband getting to watch whatever he wants on TV in the living room and it occurs to me that my bedtime is now pretty much anywhere between 7:30 and 8:30 because of laying her down and the fact I get up with her at 4 to 5:30 every morning, and I feel a little pang of jealousy. But then again I'm in here making memories. What moments did you find that you treasured most when you had your children or if you don't have kids, the ones you made with your parents?
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